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Top Five Things That Are Always Funny
  1. Jesus
  2. Crack
  3. Anal Sex
  4. Chickens
  5. Jesus high on crack having anal sex with a chicken.
Top Five Menage á Trois Blunders
  1. Conking heads.
  2. Going for an already occupied hole.
  3. Losing control of your bowels when they pull the butt plug out.
  4. Getting fucked up the ass when you thought you were with two women.
  5. Sucking your own dick.
Top Five Classic Blunders
  1. Getting involved in a land war in Asia.
  2. Going in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
  3. Attempting to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on a cow while naked.
  4. While circumcising yourself, your hand slips and you cut your dick off.
  5. Fucking your father and killing your mother.
Top Five Commandments
  1. I
  2. IV
  3. X
  4. VII
  5. III
Bottom Five Places To Lose Bladder Control
  1. At the apex of the loop on a roller coaster.
  2. While your girlfriend is going down on you.
  3. While defending your thesis.
  4. During a hernia exam.
  5. While hanging in your gravity boots.
Top Five Places To Lose Bladder Control
  1. While serving beers at a frat party.
  2. While your ex-girlfriend is going down on you.
  3. While swimming in your neighbor's pool.
  4. When the bath starts to get too cold.
  5. While standing over a toilet.
Top Five Worst Things That Could Happen To Your Testicles
  1. The plucking of each pubic hair, one at a time.
  2. Acupuncture.
  3. Spontaneous combustion.
  4. Slowly crushed in a jar of broken glass.
  5. Nothing. Ever.
Top Five Punchlines
  1. "Because Thursday's your night in the barrel!"
  2. "Ping pong balls? I thought you said King Kong's balls!"
  3. "I can't," he said, pulling on his trousers. "I'll be late for school."
  4. "Rectum?!" he replied, "It nearly killed him!"
  5. "Hey, friend, you don't think I actually asked for a 12-inch pianist, do you?"
Top Five Things To Do With A Severed Head
  1. Go bowling.
  2. Staple it to your shoulder and pretend you have two heads.
  3. Jam your fist into its mouth and run around a shopping mall waving it at people screaming, "Oh, God, Ted! I only wanted to love you!"
  4. Eat the goo inside, put a candle in it, and have yourself a spooky-ass jack-o-lantern.
  5. Kissing practice.




The Booty Boys Calendar


The Short Bus: Ep 1
on ifilm.com
 

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